PlayBoy Rurouni
by LadyToFu
Summary: Eep. Yes, I changed the title! The Super Mega-Play-Boy is in Meiji Tokyo and DNA Operator Karin has gone back in time to stop him! New Chapter: NANI? Kenshin FLIRTING?? READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!!!
1. Enter the Mega Play Boy!

Enter the Mega Playboy!  
  
~ I do not own Kenshin or DNA2. This is set after the anime series but before Kenji was born/Kaoru and Kenshin were married. ~  
  
_____________________________________________________________  
  
Prelude:  
  
A samurai and a foreigner sat across from one another at a small wooden table. Both seemed to be oblivious to the confused stares of the occupants of the Ichiriki TeaShop.  
  
Kenshin sighed, sipping at his tea. "Karin-dono. Sessha would really appreciate it if you at least took off your hood, less people would stare at us." He said, quietly interrupting the girl chattering in front of him.  
  
"What people? My hood?" Replied the girl, confused. She really had been oblivious to the stares. "Oh! You mean this! This is my protector. But I guess it would be okay to take it off."  
  
Kenshin sweated a little. "Yes, uh, your, uh, pro-tec-tor."  
  
The girl grinned, pushing something on the side of her hood. Suddenly, Kenshin watched with wide-eyes as the thing seemed to deflate. And all this time Kenshin had thought the girl had had a really, really big head! The girl flipped the now-floppy hood back, revealing large sparkling eyes set over startlingly high-cheekbones, topped off with a mop of blue hair. Kenshin wondered who had cut it. If anyone had tried to do that to his hair, he would have gone hitokiri on their ass. She was prettier than he had thought though.  
  
"So Himura-san, basically I'm from the future and. . ." She continued after taking a short sip of her own tea.  
  
Yes, Kenshin thought to himself, she was pretty but she was also positively insane. He sighed a little and looked down at his half-empty cup, mentally telling himself to STOP accepting dates from strange women. . . .  
  
* Earlier that day *  
  
Kenshin felt the presence again. Spinning around, he caught the barest glimmer of white disappearing behind a corner, then nothing. The shadow! She had been following him for the past two days, and no matter how hard he tried, Kenshin could never catch her. She eluded his god-like speed and reflexes with astounding ease. He was sure the shadow was a girl though. He could feel the feminine aura. Not a ken-ki, which would have worried him more, but a definite sense of female determination- like Kaoru-dono lately. Kenshin felt sweatdrops form on his forehead at just the thought of the lady who seemed determined to get him down the aisle. He loved Kaoru, but marriage was a big step!  
  
A shiver ran down the back of Kenshin's neck as he rounded the corner the white figure had disappeared around with lightning speed. No one but street vendors and the occasional stray animal was to be seen. Then again, he hadn't really been expecting anyone. This woman was a sly creature. Kenshin's eyes grew hard, glimmers of amber glittering slightly in their depths. He wondered what she was after.  
  
"Red hair. Cross-shaped scar." A voice suddenly whispered close behind him. Kenshin whirled, hand on his trusty sakabato, ready to bash down all evil. Only it wasn't evil that stood before, or rather had stood behind, him. It was a short, girl?, in the oddest clothing Kenshin had ever seen. It was kind of like the western clothes he'd seen on some men in Yokohama. . . . And the aura was. . .  
  
"You." Kenshin's eyes narrowed, sliding his foot back into a defensive battou-stance. "Why have you been following me?"  
  
"Now, now. No need to panic!" Grinned the short girl apprehensively. She waved her gloved hands almost frantically, trying to calm the Battousai. A moment of silence passed between the two, as Kenshin slowly came out of hitokiri-mode. The girl inhaled deeply, a blush creeping over her features. (At least the features Himura could see beneath the enormous hood of her white cloak). "Ijustwantedtoknowifyou'dhaveteawithme."  
  
"Oro?" The swirly-eyed Samurai became, well, swirly-eyed before returning to his usual kind rurouni self. Having tea with the girl WOULD be better than receiving not-so-subtle marry-me-now hints around the dojo from Kaoru- dono and Tae-san, Kenshin thought to himself. Smiling at the now cherry- faced girl, Kenshin replied, "Sessha would be honored."  
  
* Back to the Ichiriki*  
  
"So, what do you think??" Asked Karin, looking at Kenshin expectantly.  
  
Kenshin met her gaze with a completely blank stare.  
  
"Baka!" Karin nearly yelled, throwing a cup filled with boiling hot tea at his head. Himura felt a large lump forming under his poor scalded scalp. "Baby, I barely hit you! Stop that orororo-ing and LISTEN! This is important! Look, and I'm only going to repeat this one more time, in the year 2020, I'm called a DNA Operator. My job is manipulating DNA."  
  
Kenshin felt his head throbbing, and not just from the teacup. The crazy woman Karin was going on about the future again. Admittedly, she was dressed really REALLY oddly, but the future? Well, he supposed that time travel was possible. But what was she. . . "D-N-A?"  
  
"Yes, it's. . . umm. . . how do I describe this? It's like something inside you that gives you certain abilities and characteristics like the color of your hair or eyes."  
  
"Oro? The color of sessha's eyes?"  
  
"Yes. If you have a son, and he's got purple eyes too, then that's because you both have that same factor in your DNA."  
  
"Sessha does not quite understand."  
  
"Look, let's just say that if there is a ninja that can naturally jump really high, then he's got a certain something in his DNA that gives him that ability. Well, in my time, we are able to change that DNA. We can make it so the ninja can't jump really high anymore."  
  
"Karin-dono, isn't that really not nice de gozaru? The ninja may need to jump."  
  
Kenshin "oro-ed" as the girl took a brief break from her explanations to pound her head on the wooden table. The other customers of the Ichiriki politely ignored the banging. The weird pair just weren't as entertaining as they had been the first hour or so. "The point isn't that we're going to, it's that we can!"  
  
"Ah, alright. Sessha believes that he understands. But sessha would like to know how this whole D-N-A changing happens, de gozaru."  
  
"Okay, I was getting to that. Basically, if we want to change someone's DNA, we use one of these." Karin pulled out a small conical metal object from a pocket in her cloak. She held it up for Kenshin's analysis. I looked almost like a very tiny rocket with a thin black line wrapped around one end. "It's called a DCM. See the very point? No, don't touch it. It's really sharp. It contains a medicine designed to control DNA."  
  
"So you make the person swallow the medicine de gozaru?" Kenshin asked. He privately wondered what that thing would do to someone's stomach. It had to be metal after all. Then again, Kenshin had accidentally swallowed a yen last week and that hadn't really bothered him too much.  
  
"Baka. Of course not, who swallows metal anyways? It'll rust and burn a hole in your stomach."  
  
"Kenshin? Kenshin? I was kidding." Karin replied, shaking the suddenly pale and swirly-eyed samurai. When she had gotten him to sit up straight again, Karin pulled out a small hand-gun from yet another pocket of her fantastic white cloak. "We use this."  
  
Kenshin looked at the strange metal object, telling himself that it was probably better not to ask anymore questions. He thought of all the surgical equipment Megumi-dono had shown him once. Some of the strange implements and the accompanying explainations had scared the living daylights out of him. This thing looked vaguely like a gun, and Kenshin didn't even WANT to know where it was supposed to go. . . "Karin-dono. This is very interesting, but does not answer sessha's original question. If you really are from the future, why are you here? What does all this D- N-A have to do with sessha?"  
  
"Well, first let me tell you that, in my time, overpopulation is the major problem. See we took care of diseases and everything, so people just don't die like they used to. Having even two children is a very serious offense."  
  
"Sessha still does not understand what that has to do with himself or the people in Kyoto. . ."  
  
"Well, there's more to the story. There was a major pervert long ago during the Meiji period, that historians call the Mega-Play-Boy, who got 100 women pregnant and had 100 children!"  
  
"Hai." Kenshin nodded, folding his arms in front of him, "But wouldn't that man be deceased in your future time de gozaru?"  
  
"Well, yes, in my time that guy is long dead. But the problem is his descendants. See all 100 sons grew up to be the same as their father, the Mega-Play-Boy."  
  
"Oro?"  
  
"Yep. Each one had 100 children and each of their sons and 100 sons and so on and so on."  
  
"Wow de gozaru." Kenshin could feel his eyes growing swirly just thinking about all the descendants that one man probably had by the year 2020. Not to mention all the women those guys must have gotten pregnant. 100 women in one lifetime: that must have been one fun *ahem* terribly horrible life. "That's. . . wow."  
  
"Yup, which is where these," said Karin evenly, holding up the DCM with one hand and the gun with the other, "come in."  
  
"Oh sessha thinks he understands. The children inherited the father's Mega- Play-Boyness, so you came here to change this guy's DNA before he can have any children." Kenshin closed his eyes and nodded to himself. He felt proud that he had grasped all this, but who could this man be? No doubt Karin wanted his help in finding the incredible *ahem* evil man.  
  
"Gee, you're smart." Karin agreed, putting the DCM bullet inside of the gun. "That's exactly it. And when this job is done, I'll have the ultimate payment. I can finally retire and fulfill my dream: a sweet, sweet home with a hunky husband and cute pets. However, I still have yet to find a husband. By the way what's your full name? Do you like to do laundry?"  
  
"Himura Kenshin, and who doesn't like laundry?" replied Kenshin, eyes still closed and mentally congratulating himself for his mental prowess. He wondered who this Mega-Play-Boy could be. Perhaps Sano? Sano certainly had a certain playboy quality about him, but Kenshin couldn't Karin-dono to hurt his friend. "Why?"  
  
Karin sighed, rising slowly from her chair. "I was a bit unsure, you see. So I decided to ask you a few questions. Now I'm sure. You see, the Mega- Play-Boy had three traits that he passed on to all his descendants: Mega- Play-Boyness, superior fighting abilities, and an obsession with laundry."  
  
"Ahh. . ."  
  
"ByeBye Mega-Play-Boy." Karin whispered as she aimed her gun and shot Kenshin full in the chest before running out of the teahouse.  
  
*Later In Karin's Round Time-Transport Module disguised as a Hut in the Forest*  
  
"Ouch! There you are!" Shouted a mustachioed man, his eyes unreadable behind sunglasses, as he flashed onto the screen just as Karin entered her module's control room. Privately, she wondered how much he spent on gel to keep his green hair in a mohawk that tall. "About the situation."  
  
"Hah." Replied Karin, smirking with satisfaction as she plopped into a chair in front of the screen. "I've already taken care of it."  
  
"What?!" Shrieked the man, his face filling the entire monitor. "Well, that's not good."  
  
Black and white stripes began to buzz across the image, causing the man's picture to blur. "Yokomori! What's not good?? Hurry up! Your signals breaking-up!"  
  
"Well, you see. the DCM you took." Came the garbled reply through sounds of electronic static. Karin could see the man hold up a DCM bullet, a red stripped bullet. She had a sinking feeling about this. . . "You took the wrong one."  
  
"NANI?!?!" 


	2. Oh Doctor!

Thank you to my lovely reviewers, you guys keep me writing! This is the new chapter to the story, btw. I just put up and will put up the ~Interludes~ to keep you all from getting bored (  
  
____________________________________________________________________ PlayBoy Rurouni  
  
Ch. 2: Oh Doctor!~ ____________________________________________________________________  
  
*Inside the Ichiriki TeaShop*  
  
Kenshin opened his eyes to meet the bright white light. He blinked hard, trying to focus on that light. He'd always wondered what the after-life would look like. . .  
  
"Ey ma, I think Dead Guy woke up!" shouted a little boy looking down on Kenshin. He started to kick at Kenshin's legs, followed by poking. Yes, Kenshin decided, he had ended up in hell. He wondered if he would see Shishio sometime soon.  
  
"Poke it harder, mebe it'll go dead again."  
  
Something hard and slightly sharp was jabbed into Kenshin's stomach. He groaned in pain, deciding that perhaps the Karin girl hadn't killed him after-all. Slowly, the Rurouni began to prop himself up with his arms, causing the boy with the stick to poke at him even harder.  
  
Finally, the boy decided to give up on Kenshin dying from stick-poking. Although. . . "You ain't gonna die again, is ya?" he asked, just in case.  
  
"No, sessha is not," concluded Kenshin, glaring at the kid. Looking down at his chest, Kenshin felt around for the hole he knew had to be there. He was sure that girl had shot him! Yep, there was a hole in his lovely light- red gi, but not even a scratch on his body. The confused rurouni stared at the boy who was still standing next to him. "Hey, what happened to the girl that was sitting here with me?"  
  
"Dunno, walked out," replied the boy.  
  
Kenshin face-faulted. "A strange girl shoots sessha dead and you just let her go?"  
  
"Wait-a-minute, you says you wasn't dead!" Shouted the boy, raising his stick for more poking, "Beside, she said you be payin da bill."  
*One hour later, on the streets of Tokyo*  
  
Kenshin walked down the street, absently rubbing the bruises rapidly forming all over his body. He almost cried as he thought of the hole that Karin-person had made in his brand new gi. The rurouni sighed. He had spent hours in the marketplace looking for a new one. They just didn't make fuchsia gis like they used to. Actually, they didn't make fuchsia ones at all anymore, which was why he had been forced to get the light-red. . .  
  
"Keeeen-san!" came a feminine call, distracting Kenshin from his thoughts. He turned to see Megumi walk quickly toward him. "Ken-san! What are you doing out so late? I'm surprised Kaoru let you out. . . especially in that hot pink gi. . ."  
  
"Sessha's gi is light-red!" replied the rurouni, tersely. "Sessha has been having tea with a. . . ah. . . person."  
  
Two little ears seemed to sprout from Megumi's head. "A 'person'?" She giggled, covering her mouth with her hand, while her eyes took on that familiar crescent shape. "Why Ken-san, I never thought you'd be the type. Ah, our poor little innocent Kaoru, I wonder how she'll take this news."  
  
A blush shot across Kenshin's cheeks as he looked away, causing Megumi to laugh. He wondered how long Megumi would laugh at him about this, not to mention Sano when he found out. . . "Ahem, Megumi-dono. Sorry to interrupt, but actually Sessha has a medical question."  
  
That made Megumi stop laughing. When the rurouni brought up medicine, it was usually a serious matter. "What is it Kenshin?"  
  
"Sessha believes he has been shot here," he replied, pointing to his chest.  
  
Megumi turned pale, instantly grabbing Kenshin for a closer inspection. "Where!? There's nothing there."  
  
The rurouni nodded knowingly. "Exactly. That is sessha's question. Sessha believes he was shot, but there was no wound in sessha's chest. Can Megumi-dono please explain this?"  
  
The lady doctor looked pained for a moment, "Ken-san, maybe you haven't been shot?"  
  
He shook his head in reply, "But, Megumi-dono, here is the bullet hole."  
  
Kenshin stuck his finger through the round hole in his gi, just near his heart. He watched as Megumi leaned in for a closer examination. Why had he never noticed the way the cloth of her odd kimono seemed to stretch tight over her full breasts? Or the way her hair spilled down that elegant back of hers to meet her luscious round rump, he wondered. Kenshin felt strange flames grow within him, not unlike when he turned hitokiri, only different. Megumi leaned a little bit closer, and Kenshin felt the flames begin to rage, burning into a consuming fire. He felt himself slip away. . . "Ken-shin? Are you okay? You look pale. . ."  
*Megumi*  
  
Megumi had thought that Kenshin was being paranoid, until she saw the tell- tale bullet hole in his gi. Considering its location, a bullet had to have hit him. Leaning in for a closer view, she could see Kenshin's muscular chest, bare without a scratch. Only the old scars from his past battles were there. She leaned in a little closer, hoping a more minute examination would clear up the mystery. As she did so, she noticed that Kenshin's body was beginning to give off a great deal of heat, and a sheen of sweat was beginning to form.  
  
"Ken-shin? Are you okay? You look pale. . ." She began, not looking up from her examination. She was sure that there had to be an explanation for this bullet-mystery.  
  
"Megumi," Kenshin replied in an oddly deep voice.  
  
The doctor looked up from her examination. . . and melted. Kenshin looked down at her with what could only be true passion. His narrowed eyes seemed to glow a deep blue, and sparkle like stars. Actually, there seemed to be a whole lot of stars sparkling around him. Rising from her bent position, Megumi could only stare at Kenshin. Why had she never noticed how extraordinarily PERFECT the man was before, she thought to herself with a sigh as the rurouni gently pushed back a lock of her hair.  
  
"Megumi, you are incredible," Kenshin continued, hooking an arm around her waist and drawing her close. She could feel her heart beat faster as he looked deeply into her eyes. "In fact, your father must have been a baker, for you have a most delicious set of buns."  
  
Megumi felt her limbs go limp as Kenshin leaned her backward, bending to meet her lips in a picture perfect kiss. Stars twinkled around them, odd bubbles of pastel light surrounded them. The lady doctor didn't care, she was in love! She wrapped her arms around Kenshin's slim form, holding him tightly.  
  
Suddenly, huge hands pulled her away from her Kenshin. "Oy! What's going on?" 


	3. Explainations

*Inside Karin's Round Time-Transport Module disguised as a Hut in the Forest* "Okay, okay. So let me get this straight," growled Karin, tapping the tip of her finger on her forehead. "The red striped DCM gets rid of the Mega- Play-Boy DNA factor. Not the black striped DCM."  
  
"Ouch! That's correct!" replied Yokomori, his face interrupted by occasional lines of static.  
  
Karin tapped a little harder. "So, what does the black one do?"  
  
"Ouch! Probability factor analysis says that it will turn a normal person into a Super-Mega-Play-Boy."  
  
Karin jumped out of her seat and began to yell phrases out somewhere along the lines of, "Why the hell do you have a DCM that MAKES a playboy?!?!"  
  
"Ouch! Now, now Karin. It's all solvable. I'm sending you the correct DCM via hyper-mail. It should reach you soon. It takes at least 72 hours for the transformation to complete and another 12 hours after that before it becomes permanent," shouted back Yokohoma over the noise.  
  
*Meanwhile, on the streets of Tokyo*  
  
"Oy! I said, what's going on?" Gritted out a very agitated Sano as he glared at Kenshin. He had been happily walking to the Kamiya Dojo on the quest for food, when he had seen it. Kenshin, tipping back his lovely Megumi. Kenshin, KISSING his lovely Megumi. And he wanted to know what was going on, damn it.  
  
"Oro?" Was, unfortunately, all the reply Sano got as a slightly swirly- eyed Kenshin stared back at him. "What does Sano mean, de gozaru?"  
  
Sano felt his cheeks flush as his temper rose. Steam could be seen starting to escape his ears in little white streams. The world started to go red. "Kenshin. . ." He began, grabbing the front of the rurouni's shirt and almost lifting the smaller man into the air.  
  
Suddenly, a shrill scream cut through his anger. "Stop it, you barbarian! What are you doing to my Ken-darling?"  
  
Sano barely saw a flutter of blue fabric before Megumi started to hit him. "Take that! And that! How could you even dream of hitting darling Ken? Kenshin, are you all right?"  
  
The rurouni picked himself off the ground where he had landed upon Megumi's interference, eyes growing just that much swirlier. "Sessha has no idea what is going on Megumi-dono. If Megumi-dono or Sano would care to explain. . ." The two ignored Kenshin completely. 


End file.
